Thursday, September 27, 2007

Our Home Four Years Ago

It is hard to believe that we have lived here for four years now. This was not our first choice for a house when we were house shopping. The house that we were about to close on after we had sold our house did not pass the builders inspection. Now, in the grand scheme of things I know that it is not the end of the world, but it took me a long time to get over the Mud House never the less.

I've been reading Melissa's blog about being authentic this morning and am feeling the need to be more authentic here on my blog in order to be known authentically.

John is my third husband............I know, I can hardly believe it either. My family has a large family business that provides for me very well. Did any body watch that awful show Dirty Sexy Money last night? Well, on a much smaller scale that could be my family. A few different story lines and take it out a few generations and there you have us.

My first husband and I were married shortly after high school. We had our three beautiful children over the course of several years. Thirteen years later we were divorced. To this day I regret it and would advise anyone with children to stay married to the father of your children unless you are dealing with one or all of the four A's, adultery, addiction, abuse, or abandonment. Even then there is hope through the grace of God, but none of these were the reason for my divorce, I was an idiot.........that was the reason for my divorce. Before I knew it he was remarried and had adopted a little boy. Through it all he remained a wonderful father to my children.

On March 16, 1986 I was saved and born again through the blood of Jesus Christ our savior. Five years later in 1991 I married a man fifteen years older than me. We were married for 10 years but after the first 5 years it began to become clear that our differences could not be overcome even though we both tried very hard and sought all kinds of outside help and kept trying probably longer than we should have, but I now know why that was........

Two years after my second divorce my first husband had an aneurysm burst in his brain at a meeting. He never recovered. I know that he had some brain function immediately after the incident because when I went into the ER room when he got to the hospital I leaned over him and told him that the children would be fine and that I would take care of them and a tear rolled down his cheek. It was the worst time in our lives and it continued for two more years until he went home to be with the Lord in the spring of 2004.

Shortly after my second divorce I met my husband John. We were married in 2003 at which time I sold my home and cottage to move from a small central Michigan town to Metro Detroit. He sold his house and we found the Mud House and were excited to start our life together down here. On one of our first dates we began reading the Bible through in one of those read through the Bible in one year Bible's. He had come out of a difficult marriage and had turned to the Lord to help him come to terms with his situation. We finished reading our Bible coincidentally the day we were married. This was not my first time through it but it was his. That Bible reading and many prayers together have gotten us through some very difficult times.

Two weeks after my first husband went home to be with the Lord John's mother fell and broke her hip. Within a couple of days she also went home to be with the Lord. She was a loving mother and we were heartbroken by her loss.

It has been almost a year now that my second husband also went home to be with the Lord. As I mentioned above I now know why we were together. Shortly before he passed he asked me to come over to his house where he was in the final stages of his battle with lung cancer and he thanked me for bringing him back to God. He had a peace about him that I could feel even though I knew he was in a great deal of pain. He died two weeks later.

So, you are now probably thinking, what a nut case, and maybe so, but I have loved and I have lost, I've been a sinner and a saint and through it all the Lord has been beside me holding me in His arms comforting and leading me bringing me back to Him.

Some time ago I erased much of my blog because I became the topic of debate among some of the Christian bloggers. At that time I couldn't even put into words my experiences of the last few years. I was called an isolator, a Jezebel and blasphemer of the Word of God. Hopefully, what they said is not true, but if it is I repent of it and will continue to have faith in God who forgives us and guides us.

Back to the topic of our home. I give God all the glory for all that I have. It is all his and only mine to be a good steward of so it is this house and not the Mud House and that is just fine with me. Could my computer be broken so that I would have to use this old one so that I can finally put the past few years into words......Thank you Jesus, thank you all who have listenend to me ramble.

Hope I haven't scared any one off. This is the first time in years that I have been able to sort through all this.

It is nice to meet you authentically.

11 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:01 PM

    Thank you. Authenticity is the only way. Not the easier way, but the right one. I hope God blesses
    you for your courageous obedience. Too often women, even Christian women, pretend to be someone they're not. But I've heard it said that we are earthen vessels that hold God's light, He shines through our cracks. If we pretend to be sufficient in ourselves, He does not get the glory. Thanks again, Martha

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  2. To anyone who would call you names...He who is without sin... (you know the rest)

    Although I don't know you, you must be a very special lady. To love and be loved... that is authentic living.

    I am going to read your blog more often because you are authentic and not for show.

    Bless you!

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  3. I know we all have the tendency to feel that by not revealing what we consider our "flawed past", we are not being authentic. But....God knows our past, by His grace has forgiven us and He is the only one whose business it trully is. Your authenticity is who you are right now! And that is a remarkable loving woman. Those who would judge you need to look within and judge their own motives!
    Love you - Sheryl

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  4. Anonymous10:55 AM

    Amen Sister!
    God Bless

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  5. Wow! I've always thought we have a lot in common. I've been married three times too. Sadly my second husband was killed in a car accident, otherwise it would have only been twice. Sounds like you have found happiness and that is a good thing. Very brave of you. Personally, I don't care what anyone thinks. It's my life, my decisions. I liked you before and nothing has changed. Stephanie

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  6. I think you are a very special lady...and I always will.
    Those who say ill mannered things are
    not truly filled with Christian love or joy. YOU are...

    Hugs,
    Sue

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  7. I prefer the word true or truthful to the word authentic... and truthful you are! It is wonderful that you are able to open yourself up and let us have a peek inside. Your truth is very inspiring and so much more profound than the word authentic. Authentic implies only real, you are more than that...you are original and special to share your true self!

    I wish you much happiness in your new marriage!

    Linda

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  8. Nice to meet you! You held my attention...You were very lucky to have been loved and you are still loved...I enjoyed your story!

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  9. Anonymous7:52 AM

    You are under no obligation to be "authenic" out there on the WWW.

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  10. Wow! I have just discovered your blog - from another blog that linked to another blog to another blog kinda thing - and I am so very glad to have found you. This is a refreshing post...just awesome!

    So many times we read blogs here and there and there is a sense of unrealism - does that make sense? You willingness to open up and share this part of your life is real - I think sometimes people try to portray themselves as something they are not. It is refreshing to come across real people! ;O)

    Love and God's Blessings,
    Cat

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  11. Anonymous10:53 PM

    I love your blog and I love that God's love covers everything.

    Amanda

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Thanks for leaving a comment. I so appreciate it when you take the time to leave a bit of encouragement.
Hugs,
Sue